Could the Scandinavian Sleep Method Help Couples Sleep Better?

Having trouble sleeping with your partner in the same bed? You might want to try the Scandinavian sleep method. What are the details of this sleep strategy, and could it work for you? Read on.

What is the Scandinavian Sleep Method?

Sleeping in the same bed with your loved one is a great way to bond emotionally. However, this physical closeness does not always promote good sleep, negatively impacting overall health and wellness.

Some sleep experts recommend trying what is known as the Scandinavian sleep method. Named for its popularity in the Scandinavian region of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark, this strategy involves sharing a bed but using separate covers.

According to Wendy Troxel, Ph.D., behavioral scientist at the RAND Corporation and author of “Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep,” this method allows sleepers to embrace their individual sleep preferences in the hopes of getting a good night's rest.

When making up the bed, use a fitted sheet but skip the top sheet. Then pile on at least two twin duvets or blankets and as many pillows as each person wants. This strategy inherently ends the nightly tug-of-war of the covers while also minimizing extra movement.

The Scandinavian method is also a good idea for couples who struggle with opposing temperature preferences. Each partner can use a blanket of their desired weight so that they are at the perfect temperature.

Lastly, this strategy is also a good compromise for couples who like the bond of sharing a bed but still want a little personal space. The separate blankets naturally create a barrier without removing the emotional closeness.

The sleeping situation is a common source of angst for many couples. Some people go so far as to have a "sleep divorce," defined as intentionally sleeping in different beds or rooms. This is typically most common in couples where one person snores or if they have different work and sleep schedules that are disruptive.

Science and History of Sleeping Separately

What do the science and history say about the health of a sleep divorce? Troxel said that most beliefs about the best sleeping situation are "entirely self-prescribed." For instance, it was common practice for couples to sleep apart a few centuries ago. In fact, sleeping in separate bedrooms was seen as a symbol of wealth because it meant that the family could afford separate sleeping chambers.

Bed-sharing is also rooted in cultural differences. For some cultures, the practice of sharing a bed may include several generations in one sleeping area.

The sexual revolution in the U.S. in the 1960s also contributed to the false belief that married couples who sleep apart are at risk of seeing a decrease in intimacy and sexual activity. However, Troxel said that the research does not back this up.

From a purely objective standpoint, the science says that people sleep worse when they share a bed. But this does not match up with what people report about their sleep quality. When asked if they prefer sleeping alone or with their loving partner, most people choose to co-sleep as it provides a better sense of security and relaxation.

Troxel said that what sleep strategy to choose depends on a number of factors. For some couples, a person's constant tossing and turning or snoring can severely disrupt the quantity and quality of sleep of their partner. Thus, it makes sense to look at the overall picture to decide what path to take. Do the benefits of the emotional closeness outweigh the advantages of sleeping apart? Or are you willing to put up with the midnight disruptions in order to have that emotional intimacy?

Before heading to a full-on sleep divorce in different bedrooms, couples might want to try the Scandinavian sleep method. This is a good hybrid sleeping arrangement that may solve the issues without having to resort to separate quarters.

Troxel said that it may be time to think about different beds or bedrooms if the Scandinavian method is not improving the quality of sleep for both people. At some point, disrupted sleep can create serious health problems. One partner not getting enough restful sleep can also present challenges to the health of the relationship, negating the potential benefits of sleeping in the same space.

Sleep experts note that while it is easy to focus on what society says about sleeping apart, it is more important to do what is best for your sleep patterns. Rested people are more likely to be able to maintain healthy relationships. As Troxel said, "Getting good sleep, however you do it, does matter for the quality of your relationship."

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