I Finally Have the Husband I Want, Now That He’s 66
Context:
Helen Schulman reflects on her evolving relationship with her husband, Bruce, highlighting that their marriage has improved significantly in their 60s. Initially, their relationship was slow to start, and while both pursued demanding careers, Schulman often found herself carrying the majority of domestic responsibilities. Bruce's career in the magazine industry kept him busy, leaving Schulman to juggle her career and family duties, leading to a sense of resentment and exhaustion. However, with their children grown and Bruce's career shift to writing full-time, he has taken on more domestic duties, allowing Schulman to appreciate their partnership more. The changes have led to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship, as they enjoy quality time together in their later years.
Dive Deeper:
Helen Schulman describes how her marriage to Bruce improved with age, noting that her resentment decreased as he became more involved in domestic life after the collapse of his magazine career.
The relationship began slowly, with Bruce's courtship skills described as rudimentary, but over time, Schulman recognized his kindness and interesting nature, leading to a deeper connection.
Throughout their marriage, Schulman balanced a demanding career and extensive domestic responsibilities, including caring for children and aging parents, often feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin.
Bruce's role as a father was committed and loving, though his career demands limited his participation in daily family life, causing Schulman to bear the brunt of household duties.
With their children grown and Bruce's career transition to full-time writing, he now contributes more to household tasks, cooking meals, and engaging in meaningful conversations, enhancing their relationship.
Schulman reflects on the challenges faced by their generation of working mothers, who juggled professional and domestic roles, often feeling the strain of trying to 'have it all.'
The shift in their dynamic has allowed Schulman to savor the present, enjoying the companionship and support of her husband, whom she now considers the partner of her dreams.