I'll have two babies with the same dad but I don't know what he looks like

BBC News
Original Story by BBC News
January 11, 2026
I'll have two babies with the same dad but I don't know what he looks like

Lucy, a 41-year-old woman, is navigating motherhood as a solo parent through sperm donation, a decision prompted by her desire for children during the pandemic. She initially envisioned a traditional family structure but, after becoming single before her 30th birthday, opted for IVF and donor sperm, leading to the birth of her first son and another child on the way. The rising trend of single women choosing this path reflects shifting societal norms and personal priorities, with a significant increase in solo mothers reported in the UK. Despite facing emotional challenges, including the loss of her parents, Lucy remains committed to fostering a loving environment for her children, emphasizing that happiness is rooted in care rather than family structure. Looking ahead, she plans to continue her open approach in discussing family dynamics with her children.

Dive Deeper:

  • In 2019, 3,147 single women in the UK received fertility treatment with donor sperm, which rose to 5,084 by 2022, indicating a more than 60% increase in just three years.

  • Nina Barnsley from the Donor Conception Network highlights that many women are motivated by time constraints regarding fertility and the desire to have children at certain life stages.

  • Lucy began explaining her son's conception to him with simple language to help him feel comfortable and confident discussing it, countering societal expectations and questions regarding paternal absence.

  • Lucy's parents were initially expected to play a significant role in her children's lives, but both passed away within six weeks of each other when her son was just 18 months old, profoundly impacting her parenting journey.

  • Kim, a 30-year-old man raised by a solo mother through sperm donation, shares that he felt no void from the absence of a father, attributing his independence to the strong upbringing by his mother, Emily.

  • Emily, now 72, reflects on the benefits of raising her son alone, emphasizing that she enjoyed making decisions without needing to compromise with a partner, a sentiment echoed by Lucy in her own experience.

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